[originally post on Facebook Notes on Wednesday, November 17, 2010 at 10:41am]
I am very impatient for you to come out and for me and Tatay to be able to hug and kiss you. OK, so those aren’t my only motivations…honestly, your presence in my womb has caused me major discomforts. Did you know that in your 2nd and 3rd months residence in my womb, you made me lose a whopping 12 lbs? That’s a feat, because major dieting makes me lose only at most 3 lbs. You made me lose that much because the nausea your presence made me vomit and made me hate (yes, HATE!) almost all kinds of food. I was also subjected to being confined at this hospital where the private room’s bathroom stinks and the midwives are rude and insensitive (I swear you’ll never be born there). On the up side, my suffering made me and your Tatay closer to each other (not physically though, because your Tatay had to sleep on the floor as his scent made me vomit too)…he was at my beck and call, and when I realized how patient he’s been to me, I loved him even more. I took more effort to be nicer to him, and he reciprocated it by being sweeter to me.
After our first trimester together, I started having a better time in our second trimester…your Tatay and I often went out; he would beam at me, happy that my hearty appetite is back and that I can accompany him in his long drives. He said that during my bedridden days, he missed the silly stuff I say and do. He’s also happy that I still look lovely and that my nose did not swell.
But just after our happy second trimester together, your growing presence in my womb is making me uncomfortable again…you’re always pressing my bladder anak! Ambilis tuloy maubos ng toilet paper natin. You’re also crowding my lungs that I find it difficult to breathe. Though I’ve been chubby, I’ve never been obese, and I think I’m experiencing what a 300-lb man experiences: trouble with getting up and walking. I walk like a penguin, and I look like a beached whale when I lie down. My spine and my heels are aching. Worst for me is the overprodction of saliva…yuck! I also tire easily.
Your father might frown upon reading this…sasabihin nanaman nun, hindi ka pa lumalabas nagrereklamo na ako sa ‘yo. He’s right. But aside from just wanting to vent out, I am writing this to let you know that hindi ka pa lumalabas, I’ve started to love you unconditionally. Oh how you’ve made me suffer, but all I think about is giving you everything. I want to enroll you in the best schools, buy you the best clothes, want you to be loved by everyone, etc. But I won’t spoil you, ha, keep that in mind. Expect me to spank you, to scold you, and let you face the wall. Iniisip ko pa kung papaluhurin kita sa munggo kung may grave offense ka. Feeling ko magagawa ko yun. Actually, I won’t be happy if you have nary a tinge of kapilyuhan in you…once in a while, I’d like you to say or do something naughty…something that I’d punish you for but would make me laugh deep inside. Anak ang boring mo kung wala kang konting kapilyuhan…pero konti lang ha? Mapapahiya ako kung sobrang pilyo at likot mo–lagi pa naman akong asar sa mga batang parang hindi nadidisiplina ng parents nila.
Anak, I really want you to come out. But if staying in my womb and continuing to torture me will make you better, OK fine jan ka muna. I want all the best for you. I keep on praying that you’d come out physically and mentally perfect. Siyempre ipinagpe-pray ko rin that you’ll look handsomer and more intelligent than your Tatay. Anak, Oblation scholar ha? At saka wag kang maging weird para hindi ka ma-bully. And if may mambu-bully man sa iyo, I don’t want to fight your fight…fight for yourself! Prove that you have balls; no worthy woman will respect you if you’re a wuss.
Anak, this early we love you so much and we are so excited to see you. Wag mo na akong pahirapan, please lang! Lumabas ka na lang nang maayos. So kung mapaluhod man kita sa munggo, remember that you made me suffer too (mas matagal kaya pa nga eh) and I honestly honestly just want the best for you.
See you soon!
*We eventually named our son RAVIV, which is Hebrew for rain (Randy) or dew (Dewmaine)